One Year Ago

It was exactly 1 year ago as I write this post that I took my last look at my beautiful daughter. It was the last time I kissed her soft newborn skin that I can still smell if I close my eyes.

My baby girl Ava had just been born a few hours earlier at 2:11 PM and it was a few hectic moments following that I was to learn that my daughter would not survive her birthday.

Today, my wife and I released 7 pink balloons. One balloon for every hour she lived.

We also had a cake to honour her memory. The cake simply read "Ava". It bore no candles as, unfortunately there is no birthday to celebrate today. There is only a memory to cherish and a box of keepsakes to look through one more time.

I've often said that since my daughter died that I have the responsibility of living for 2. I have to pack as much life, joy, happiness and experiences as I can because Ava will not have that opportunity.

Since she left us:

• played in the white sands of the carribean again
• I've had a promotion at work
• I've gotten myself in shape
• I've visited the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum in Washington DC
• I've learned how to paint
• Got too close to a live and wild bear
• We've tried to start a family again
• We've completed a 10 KM run
• touched both the Atlantic and the Pacific ocean
• We've gotten a puppy
• Tasted Ice Wine and drank my first martini
• I've made 2 new friends
• I've gotten a wicked ass tan
• Experienced the death of a grandparent
• I've learned how to cook: I've made and eaten my own pasta, bread and pizza
• my wife and I have visited the rocky mountains in Alberta
• I've read a novel
• Written a video game
• I've watched Killer Whales mating in nature
• I've let time luxouriously melt away while making love to my wife
• And today, I celebrated the memory of my beautiful daughter

I just hope that it's enough for year 1.